24 Weeks Down, 7 More To Go...

I can't believe I'm 24 weeks pregnant. Well, I can, but school has definitely robbed this pregnancy of full attention. I can't say that's necessarily a bad thing, especially since there have been lots of 'suck it ups' lately that have required the fact that I'm pregnant to be put on the back burner and push through school.

Take two weeks ago. I got food poisoning...or so I thought.

NOPE.

The flu.

For a week.

The MOST excruciating stomach pain I have been in for a very, very long time. I still had assignments due and studying still commenced...sort of.

Two weeks prior to that I was in the hospital for bleeding the night before a rather important paper was due. At 10 PM I got home and started madly typing, went to class the next morning and turned 'something' in, at least. Ugh...

The only thing I can't seem to 'suck up' is cooking. At the end of the day I just want to sleep. I love to cook and bake but it's just not happening anymore. Even being on Spring Break this week I find myself completely run down, and I haven't even gotten 1/4 of the work done I had planned to accomplish.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 7 weeks. I will, obviously, I don't have a choice, but MAN, every assignment still left on my syllabi, every test still not taken, every point still not earned...they are all thorns in my side.

Yes, I have a LOT of thorns in my side.

(Maybe that's why I'm so cranky. lol)

Not to mention we are moving the weekend after graduation. That's something I can't even process right now. It was a quick decision, and needed to be made ASAP since it's going to occur F-A-S-T.

I must say that Spring Break this week has been a nice 'break' whether I intended it to be or not. Every day that I don't accomplish work goals makes me feel that much more weighted down, but we've spent so much time together as a family I can't say I regret not studying my brains out. (Ask me again on Wednesday when I have my anatomy/physiology exam, I might be singing a different tune.)

I just hope I graduate. I'm not failing anything, not even close, but I just don't know what the next 7 weeks of pregnancy hold for us and I'm praying I can make it through to finals week. Can we say anxiety?

Well, maybe now that this is written down I can fall back to sleep.

I miss sleep.

And life without heart burn.

And kickboxing.

And my size 6 jeans and size small blouses...

I know, I know, it comes down to one thing:

SUCK IT UP.

And I will. ;)

Just a Brat Setting a Tone for the Sabbath

Yesterday was a day.

You know the ones, when everything puts you in an even crappier mood than you were in before.

Thankfully, by the end of the night I was over the little things, including the nurse who criticized me for having another child while still in school. (Ok, well, mostly over it *smirk*).

I started going over the visiting teaching message in preparation for tomorrow and found a great scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants section 25 verse 10:

"And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better."

Perhaps that scripture didn't sink in as well as I guess God had intended, because at 4:30 this morning I was up with back pain, stressing over the next 10 weeks of school and subsequently the 4 week time frame after graduation that students wait for official graduation notification (making sure all the classes are completed and passed. Cruel, huh? lol). Basically my nightmare won't be over until June.

Unable to sleep, I got up and started digging around on the computer.

And then I found

this

on a blog.

(These people are A-MAZING.)

Then it finally hit me. HARD.

I have an end in sight.

This will end.

And SOON.

(Relatively speaking.)

And that's when I realized...

I'm such a brat. Like, spoil-ed.

I swear I'm one of those kids that Heavenly Father looks at and while shaking his head says, "Heather, Heather, Heather..."

I can remember a conversation with a friend a long while back and he commented that he wished the second coming of Christ would already happen. I think my exact words were, "NOOOO!!! I NEED EVERY SECOND I CAN GET!!!"

I'm glad I'm young because I still have a LOT to learn...

The (Not So Mental) Institute

I wish I were sleeping right now. I think I got almost 11 hours last night and yet I still needed more this morning. Not out of want, but out of need.

But we have some cheese, a little bit of juice, and some left over spaghetti in our fridge...and that's about it. So I'm attempting to work on a grocery list but my hungry and rather upset stomach is making the thought of walking down isles of food somewhat intolerable at the moment...

Last weekend I came to the conclusion that the combination of the lack of sleep and the work load we're both carrying has gotten me depressed. Not "clinically," but more like circumstantially depressed.

I'm just so tired. All the time. But I just...keep...pushing...

So I went to the counseling services on campus yesterday.

One word.

Amateurs.

Post motivational notes on my mirror? REALLY? No offense, but this guy even said, "You've been through worse and you've gotten yourself through it before, so you can do it, just relay on your previous tactics. Post things where you can see them..." Clearly my tactics are a little more internal and developed due to my history, but how can that translate in just 15 minutes of a Q&A session?

I just smiled and nodded.

After that I had 5 minutes to get to class. If you've ever been to therapy before then you know: in NO WAY was I going to class after that.

Well, actually, I did try. I got to the bathroom just down the hall from my classroom and took one look at the stalls and thought, "The institute has cleaner bathrooms. I can hold it for a few more minutes." And I was D-O-N-E for the day.

I ditched not one but TWO classes, but I was responsible about it, of course. I wasn't exceeding allotted absences and no assignments were due. I.E. - Responsible Ditching. :)

The best part? The 2 1/2 hours spent at the institute (of religion, not of mental illness, for the non-LDS readers) were far more effective than the majority of the stints in I've done in therapy combined. (Yes, I've done a few. Three, actually.)

Seriously, the institute is kind of saving me this semester. I can take Baby Spin there and let him run around, we look at the bugs in the dirt, play in the closets, draw on the white boards, get lunch, eat free or REALLY cheap food ($.50 for a full size Twix!!), are around NICE people...and I go just for quiet time in those brief moments I get.

And did I mention FREE parking?

F-R-E-E!!!

SOOO glad it's there. Thank you to however created the institute system.

-Pregnant, Disgruntled Student Parent

Copy Cat

*Sorry Kellie, hope you don't mind...*

I found this poem on a friend's blog.

It's been one of those weeks...and I needed to hear this.

I thought I'd share it, because, well...

maybe you need to hear it, too.

Stick to your task till it sticks to you.

Beginners are many, but enders are few.

Honor, power, place and praise

Will come, in time, to the one who stays.

Stick to your task till it sticks to you.

Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it too;

For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile

Will come life's victories, after a while.

-Author Unknown

(Recited by President Monson in an address to young single) adults.

Seeing Red

With everything going on I seldom think, "What do we do if something REALLY bad happens?". In fact, I never think about that anymore, largely because I'm so focused on the here and now I forget that I'm pregnant and things could go really bad, really fast.

Yesterday my brain was fried, again. So I sat and rested, watched 'Biggest Loser' and caught up over the phone with a few friends.

Finally, the time came when Mr. Spin got home and I could start crackin' the books again. I had been pretty productive already, and all I had left was to start writing a paper that is due on Wednesday.

Before getting down to the nitty gritty, I took a short bathroom break.

RED.

Seriously? Right now?! It's 7:00 PM, I want to be asleep in 2 hours, I still have a paper to write, and I just don't have time to deal with this!!!

Well, I called my doctor and after explaining everything the on-call physician gave me the choice to either come in and get checked or just wait it out. I waited it out. Of course. I sat there, trying really hard to not cry and freak out about how we just don't have any leeway in time to deal with extra things, like, oh, I don't know, emergencies.

(Looking back now I just have to laugh!)

Then today I already had the day planned and dreaded calling back the office this morning to check in with my doctor. I knew she would want me to come in, but I had no sitter and just no time! Ugh, but I still called.

And I waited...

...and waited...

...and waited...

Apparently she must not be worried because I never heard back from her. Whew!

Paper did not get completely written last night, which leaves me today to finish. Truthfully, I just want to blow it off!!!

But you know I won't. ;)

Never Underestimate the Power of Frozen Blueberries

I've been wanting to write about this since Thursday but I've been tired and trying to exert my energies to school work...which hasn't happened. So I guess I've just been procrastinating.

In my defense, it's more of an 'I'm so D-O-N-E with school work I just need a break' kind of procrastination as opposed to the 'I'm just being lazy' kind.

You know, because there IS a difference, after all. *grin*

But going back to Thursday...

Mr. Spin was still editing, so instead of him coming home to get us we were going to have to meet him on campus. I was really hoping to get a small nap in before my presentation, but with only 35 minutes to spare I was too scared that I just wouldn't wake up.

So I went to 'Plan B.'

I turned on Pandora (my new found love) and selected our relaxation station. My back has been unkind (my saccrum and coxal bones, to be exact) and so I heated up a rice bag to place under my lower back. I propped my knees up and situated some pillows so that I wasn't flat on my back but more in a reclining position.

Relaxing music: check.

Comfortable position: check.

Penetrating heat: check.

Sounds amazing, right? Well, that's not all!

The last remaining piece to my decompressing equation was...

a bag of frozen blueberries placed directly under my neck at the base of my skull.

Oh.

My.

Heaven.

10 minutes later my alarm went off, screaming at me. I got up, got my munchkin ready and I realized something- I felt AMAZING!! I was so stressed to begin with that when I first laid on the couch my breathing was labor some and I was having trouble controlling it. After the heat and ice I felt like a new woman!!! It was great.

I'm still behind on homework and no, I didn't make it out with my gal pals tonight. Today was full of my kid trying to cross over to the other side, literally. The kid started the morning falling into the pool, then while shopping for Mr. Spin's broadcasting wardrobe our kiddo darted out of the store INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT, and finally this evening while playing with Mr. Spin our munchkin got a fat goose egg and bruise courtesy of the kitchen table.

Oh, it has been a day, but at least I know how to unwind!

Any readers have any unwinding tips?

Onion Breath

I just went with Baby Spin to a club meeting because, well, truthfully? It was because they were serving a free lunch. Why lie, right? :)

Now, I have onion breath and not just regular onion, RED onion. You know, the permeating kind? Yum-o.

Checking in thus far, the status for my Bio exam I never got time to study for...

(Christy, you'll appreciate this)

D.

As in, 'D' my grade is 'Dead.' J/k. I had a 99.9% before that exam, so now I'm down to an 84.7%. No big deal, 2 more tests, 2 labs, and 1 one quiz. I'll be ok. I'm just glad it's over!

All in all, yesterday wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. It took me forever to get out of bed since back pain woke me up at 4:00 AM and teamed up with nausea, both of which refused to let me fall back to sleep. I did get up and shower, which was a triumph seeing as how I hadn't taken one since Friday afternoon. (Oh yes, I just said that.) I found myself having an added sense of strength which surprised me, but not being one to criticize good things no matter how big or how small, I was just grateful to be able to make the walk to school. So that helped. I even got a nap in yesterday afternoon, mostly because my attempts at studying were fruitless since I'm just so tired. I was in bed before 10:00 (finally!) but woke up with a sore throat, so we'll see how the rest of this week goes...

I have my presentation tonight and I have been having nightmares. I dreamt my professor made a girl run out of the room, crying her eyes out right before we were to present. Ugh...I feel so unprepared, and my group does, too. I hope we can pull it off. I haven't gotten one 'C' yet and I really don't plan on starting now...