Monday, January 20, 2014

Fighting Through Another Miscarriage

Aye. I'm here.
Again.
I don't like "here."
It's hard to embrace that this is my life. 
And yet I still wake up and think, "Is this my life? Is this really happening?"
And it is.

The last miscarriage was on my birthday. 
I thought that couldn't be any worse.
It also killed my 4.0 G.P.A for the semester (but I still made the Dean's List anyway.)
But those inconveniences seem so insignificant now.

This time I miscarried while visiting my grandmother in the hospital.
The night we were all sure she was going to die.

Yea. 

I could laugh then.
We all kind of did.
Now all I can seem to do is cry...
and throw up.
The hormones haven't worn off yet and so I'm nauseous all the time and still vomiting. 
It's been a week.

I don't want to be "here."


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