Fighting Through Another Miscarriage

Aye. I'm here.

Again.

I don't like "here."

It's hard to embrace that this is my life. 

And yet I still wake up and think, "Is this my life? Is this really happening?"

And it is.

The last miscarriage was on my birthday. 

I thought that couldn't be any worse.

It also killed my 4.0 G.P.A for the semester (but I still made the Dean's List anyway.)

But those inconveniences seem so insignificant now.

This time I miscarried while visiting my grandmother in the hospital.

The night we were all sure she was going to die.

Yea. 

I could laugh then.

We all kind of did.

Now all I can seem to do is cry...

and throw up.

The hormones haven't worn off yet and so I'm nauseous all the time and still vomiting. 

It's been a week.

I don't want to be "here."