Tangled Fishing Line

Life is so messy.

Like, SO messy.

Sometimes I remember how I used to look at things in black and white, right and wrong, good and bad; it was simple.

But life is like tangled fishing line- it's not that simple to unwind. 

Sure, you can take out some scissors and cut off the knot, move on- but what does that do? 

I think humans have a hard time learning that.

I think that's also why we are counseled not to judge others; hardly anything is cut and dry.

I'm relearning that this week.

I won't go into all the details but I know I'm in this life to learn and I am learning a lot.

Part of that is from mistakes but I'm glad I'm not ashamed of my mistakes and I don't duck out and hide anymore.

I learn.

And I try and do better.

And I hope for the change.

One of the learning experiences I've been having lately has obviously been about homeschooling. 

Well, the other school called back.

They have an opening.

*Dilemma*

Do I send my munchkin?

Or do I homeschool?

What experiences do I allow for?

First off: we are going to observe for the day. I met the teacher several months ago and am in no way skeptical about their abilities as a teacher. But we are traumatized from our last experience so we will be watching to settle our nerves.

Second: homeschooling has given my relationship with my kids new life. 

Oh, it was a PAIN to go through and INSANELY STRESSFUL. But it forced me to listen more. To see where they are at, to re-connect. I can't express how grateful I am that this happened in such a short amount of time. I am more confident in our relationship and in my part as a mom. It's a huge relief. And I know that I CAN homeschool if needed.

Third: the biggest issue teachers have with parents is lack of involvement. If my kiddos go to school why should I discontinue their homeschooling, too?

Homeschooling is what helped our relationship so much- it's time together plus further learning. I would be an idiot to stop doing that just because someone else is teaching my kids. 

It's going to be tempting to stop...oh yes. 

SUPER tempting. 

But that blasted lazy bug likes to bite in the butt, HARD. 

And I need to remember that.  

Maybe this is what I needed to learn. 

This lesson was a nightmare. 

It rocked me to the core...but I guess a lot needed to change, so I needed to be rocked.

And I'm glad that I've come out with an understanding.

The next few days will determine what the school outcome will be, but at least I have a much better understanding in this aspect of our family. 

I am still an advocate for homeschooling. 

100%

What that means for you and your child and your present situation is up to you and no one else. 

Does this mean I won't strictly homeschool in the future? No.

Does this mean all my kids are bound for public schools, charter schools, or private schools out of my home? No.

This just means that for right now I am learning and I am finding what works right now in this moment simultaneously for me, my kids, my family, and our current life situation.

Don't forget- things constantly change.

I'm trying to remember that.

I hope for the chance to live a long life- I have much learning left to do.